The Women's Journal

So Much More Than A Moment

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By Kiera Smale, Certified Life Coach

Ignite Your Light Coaching


Well, I seem to have lost my way. No maybe it’s not that, maybe it’s that I didn’t really have a way. I’m just not really sure I know who I am. I mean I want to be true to myself but then I wonder if I know how to do that. Maybe it’s just that I really don’t know who I am anymore or I never did know or, well, I am not sure . . .”

As I sat across from my client, a beautiful young woman, her eyes welled up with tears as she poured her heart out to me. I couldn’t help but think about a recent time in my life when I felt just like she described. I am touched by her honesty and vulnerability as she shares with me her inner most thoughts. I am also immediately drawn to the desperation in her voice and the look of panic in her face. I, too, have been there. It’s the moment when you realize that it is so much more than just a moment. That this feeling and this thought has been with you for much longer than you ever wanted to imagine. And even in the times when you thought you had found the answer, deep down inside there was something reminding you that you had not. It is like your head wanted to convince you that your heart is just not telling the truth. And if you listen to your heart, you will only feel more sadness and pain; but if you stay in your head, you will be protected and safe.

In coaching sessions, I often teach about the paradox of the head and heart. These two parts  that are designed to work together but couldn’t be farther apart in concept. Opposite yet compliment. The yin and the yang, night and day, summer and winter and the list goes on. As we see in nature, paradoxes do not fight each other; night does not try to keep the sun down and day does not fight when night begins to fall. Instead, they have found the beautiful harmony and work together to produce a most magical result. Which is interesting because I think it is worth noting that they do not have a human being to interfere and disrupt the process. If only that were the same for us men and women with the head and the heart. Each of us are left to figure out how our head and heart can work together, so that we can truly be who we are. That was what stumped my client, a question that filled her eyes with tears and left her trembling with sadness. “Who am I?”

This is the question that calls for us to go into our hearts. Too many times, we believe that we have to “figure it all out” or as I have been known to say, “make sense of everything.” Neither one could be further from the truth. The answer doesn’t come from our heads; the answer doesn’t mean having all the answers. The only answer we need is to go into our heart and be still. When we are still within our hearts, the answers show up. Almost effortlessly, like they have been waiting at the door, bursting at the seams, longing for you to invite them in! In the stillness, we find our truth as our answers are revealed.

I meet again with this beautiful young woman. Her eyes have widened, her face has softened and a sense of peace radiates from her. Her words are more succinct and her voice is strong and passionate. I asked her, “What has changed, how have you been?” After a deep breath, a smile comes over her face . . . “Still. I have been still in my heart, and I no longer look for the answers. They have been here all along.”


“Even though my relationship was not on the brink of divorce, I was extremely unhappy. I knew that there was something with myself that I needed to work out before I could even begin to work on my relationship. I had no idea what exactly that was; however, after my first session with Kiera, it was crystal clear. Through working one on one for a few months with Kiera, I was able to fully develop my feminine energy and embrace all the gifts that come along with it. In turn, I have been able to give 100% to my relationship each and every day and can honestly say that we are happier than ever. I am grateful that I took the chance with coaching and that my relationship has grown exponentially from it!”~ Jennifer K.

“I can’t speak highly enough about the training and guidance you receive at Ignite Your Inner Leader!

The tools the instructors will give you will help you in any leadership role you may find yourself in. I will admit it’s not always easy to become vulnerable but it’s necessary to be a good leader.  I can say that in the leadership roles I’m currently in the tools I learned at Ignite Your Inner Leader has already helped me tremendously! In fact, they even helped me with a couple situations with my 16-year-old son. I highly recommend this for really anyone as we all have to lead in some type of capacity.”  ~ Jen D

About Kiera:
As a master coach for over a decade, Kiera brings to her clients a wealth of skills and experiences. Kiera has also managed businesses for over 20 years, as well as creating & managing her own brand. Kiera’s own life journey and commitment to continual growth is the spark behind Ignite Your Light Coaching.

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