The Women's Journal

Have You Been Told You’re Too Much?

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By Joe White

Have you ever been told that you’re “too much”? Perhaps you’ve been called “too loud,” “too passionate,” or “too emotional.” Whatever the specifics, being told that you’re “too much” can be a painful experience. It can make you feel like you don’t fit in or like there’s something inherently wrong with you. 

Then you try to start “adapting to your surroundings,” which is people-pleasing. Eventually, that leads to feeling lost and disconnected.

How do I know this? This was my first 15 years at Get Life Coaching. Why? Even though I knew I was here to make a difference in people’s lives, I was afraid I might be rejected if I was really me. I was secure in my skills but insecure in myself. Partly because I was told, I was “too much” by teachers, exes, and many people who thought they knew something but clearly were wrong. 

But the truth is, being told you are “too much” is a lie. Why in the heck should I change me so you feel more comfortable? I need to be even more of me, and if you have an issue with that, then that is your issue and not mine. It is time to take back our power!

Why is “too much” a lie?

Firstly, being “too much” is often used as a way to police people’s behavior, particularly women and other marginalized groups. Women, for example, are often told that they’re “too emotional” or “too sensitive” when they express their feelings or stand up for themselves. These labels are often used as a way to silence or discredit people who are standing up for themselves or advocating for change.

Secondly, being told that you’re “too much” is a form of gaslighting. Gaslighting is a tactic used by abusers to make their victims doubt their own experiences and perceptions. When someone tells you that you’re “too much,” they’re essentially telling you that your feelings and behavior are invalid. This can make you doubt your own worth and can lead to feelings of shame and deeper self-doubt.

So let me set the record clear, your “too much whatever” was never wrong or bad. It is your SUPER POWER. The challenge is learning how to use it. Think of an upheld fire hose spraying in every direction; now, imagine when that is controlled and focused. That is game-changing. One of the top benefits that my coaching clients experience is the ability to harness and channel that power to serve you and crush your goals. 

So the next time someone says you are “too much” look them in the eyes, smile, and say, “You’re damn right I am.” For more information visit or or call 302-832-3424.


Joe White, President and founder of Get Life Coaching, started Delaware’s first Life Coaching practice in Delaware over 23 years ago. Joe overcame a near-fatal drug and alcohol addiction 27 years ago and changed his life forever. Today Joe specializes in working with individuals who desire deep and sustainable change in their lives. He has worked with over 1 million individuals and businesses around the world. Joe also owns the Firewalk Institute of Research and Education, which trains and certifies firewalk instructors all over the world, including such notables as Tony Robbins and T. Harv. Ekers.   


“My experience with Joe and Get Life has been beyond any experience I could have ever imagined. Rewiring my thinking patterns and coming here has reconnected me to my heart. It has given me new hope, purpose, and freedom to challenge my own beliefs. The individuals I have met are inspiring. This program is a gift to my soul.”  ~ Sue K.

“Before I started with Get Life, I felt my life was out of control and I felt powerless to do anything about it. Joe White will get you MASSIVE breakthroughs and tools to take back control of your power and direction in your life. Never before have I ever felt clear with what I want, where I want to go, and how to get there.”  ~ Luke C.

Joe White

Get Life Coaching