By Kristin Stetler Donovan, Owner
Aging In Place Senior Care Service
Throughout the last 13 years, I have met many seniors and their loved ones seeking support. I use the word “support” because that is what Aging in Place Senior Care Services provides. We do not come into your home and take over, or dictate your every move, this is a common misnomer. The caregivers are intended to provide assistance, so that you can remain independent in your own home.
Unfortunately, sometimes people lose their ability to live alone. They may fail to realize that there is no shame in needing help or support to remain as independent as possible in their own home.
Prior to me beginning my journey helping seniors over the past many years, I watched my own parents slow down and lose the ability to perform certain tasks. The first and greatest loss that impacted my parents was losing their ability to drive. My mother had neuropathy in her feet and stopped driving when she could no longer feel the pedals. This made it unsafe for her to operate a vehicle. My father gave up driving when he was involved in an auto accident. He realized that because his reflexes were not as they used to be and he didn’t see an oncoming vehicle, he would not risk injuring anyone. For six years prior to their passing, my parents were dependent on others for transportation. This was more than difficult for them and for us.
Driving is not the only activity seniors lose, making them feel as though they are no longer independent. As we age, our mobility and ability to do routine tasks are impacted. Some remain more self-sufficient, while others struggle to shop, bathe, dress, or do household chores. Life is meant to be lived, and I think there is so much emphasis on doing for ourselves that we all forget that there is no shame in asking for help or simply needing someone, whether it be for comfort, companionship, or help maintaining our independence.
When I quit my corporate position and became a caregiver for my parents, I helped with transportation, bathing, toileting, grocery shopping, and anything else that kept them in their own home. My parents and I were both lucky. I had the opportunity to spend time with them and care for them, just as they cared for me throughout my childhood and beyond. I will never regret the time I spent helping them remain at home. They were lucky that I was home raising my children and had resigned from my career. The unfortunate reality for most, especially given the economic climate today, is that children are working and not able to provide that level of support. I often heard an apology for the demands on my time or was told by my parents that they were a burden. I assure you that I promptly told them they were not a burden any more than I was a burden on them as a child.
As we age, no one knows how little or how much support they will need to remain in the place they want to be, in their own home. Over thirteen years ago, having lost both parents and wishing every day that they were still here with me, I made it my life’s mission to help people who are aging and those who are supporting a husband, wife, parent, or loved one.
I was talking to a friend recently and shared, that in my opinion, no one knows exactly what someone else is going through or how they feel. I often hear people say, “I know exactly how you feel.” Or “I know exactly what you are going through.” Well, in my opinion, there is no way you could because you are not me. Everyone is different, and so is their life journey. Saying you have empathy, understanding, or compassion is much different, and again, in my opinion, a much more appropriate response.
The purpose of sharing my story is to reassure people that needing others is ok and if that is what independence looks like for you, there is support available. We aim to keep you thriving in your new definition of independence, and to let you know that Aging in Place Senior Care Services is here to support and guide you on your specific life journey. If you need empathy, compassion, or guidance on navigating your journey, please call 302-722-8240. We are here for you.
(302) 722-8240
5586 Kirkwood Highway
Wilmington, DE 19808
