Watching Your Young Adult Flounder?
By Joe White
Since COVID, more and more parents are contacting us about coaching for their young adult children, ages 14 to 29.
As a parent, I understand how disheartening it can be to see our children stuck, spinning their wheels, and missing out on opportunities. It’s a feeling of frustration and helplessness that we all can relate to.
As parents, we want to fix the situation and make it better. Still, depending on their age and situation, we understand that if we always save our children, we are actually training them to want to be rescued instead of learning how to save themselves.
What are some of the indicators that you need to know?
Some of the indicators are isolation, all day or night playing video games, being unmotivated, being unsure of what to do with their lives, grades dropping, food, depression, anger, anxiety, heavy cannabis usage, and, of course, the common “I don’t know what I want” blackhole.
Although every situation is different, and some are more critical than others, there are commonalities with every situation.
When the parent(s) is not already a coaching client, we always conduct a bonus session with me and the parents so I can show them some specific tools to keep the train on track between their child’s coaching sessions.
Seven tools for you to coach your child
Avoid labeling – Labels carry a lot of meaning and usually do more harm than good.
Stop threatening – When your only strategy is to “take away privileges,” it forces you and your child into a combative role, especially when you back off the threat and give in or lessen the punishment. Now they know you won’t hold your ground.
Be consistent – No one is perfect, and we must do our best to be consistent and congruent with what we say and do.
Avoid talking at them – Avoid the “talking at” posture and strive for more of a “talking with” conversation.
Avoid making negative comparisons – “You are just as bad as Mandy” or “Why can’t you act more like Tony?” These will only fuel the very pattern we are trying to break.
Check your emotional state – You are human as well. You will feel frustrated, angry, or even hurt. Learning to “park” those feelings while talking with your child is critical to long-term success. If not, those feelings will bleed into your conversations. This is essential for healthy boundaries.
Create “runaway ramps”- Just like truckers on the highway know to use the runaway ramp if their brakes fail, parents must know how and when to end conversations before they become destructive to all and regroup.
I understand how difficult it is to parent a young adult who is struggling. There are ways to empower them, to give them tools and guidance. Remember, it’s okay to seek help. You are not alone in this journey. There are resources and support systems available to assist you in coaching your child through their struggles and challenges.
“I met Joe 4 years ago, and I knew from the moment I met him that he could help my son. Aaron struggled with daily anxiety over school and a tough home life. He was often hopeless about life getting any better. I tried so many things, from changing schools to traditional therapy and many different activities and experiences to show him something more; none of them inspired any hope in Aaron. Now that Aaron is thriving working with Joe, he is engaged with life and has dreams and aspirations. He is focused on taking care of himself and his health. Aaron is an inspiration to me and a testament to Joe of what he can do even in the most hopeless of situations. Working with Joe is the absolute best investment I have ever made.” ~ Melody Kirby
Until next time, Rattle The Cage, Joe
For more information visit www.GetLifeCoaching.com or www.Firewalking.com or call 302-832-3424.
Bio
For over 25 years, Joe White has been a leading force in personal and professional transformation, pioneering Delaware’s first life coaching practice, Get Life Coaching. His journey began with overcoming a near-fatal drug and alcohol addiction 30 years ago, a turning point that ignited his passion for helping others.
Joe possesses a unique combination of passion, genuine empathy, unfiltered honesty, and practical expertise. This extraordinary blend attracts clients from all walks of life and enables Joe to create massive and lasting change for his clients. His impact extends well beyond Delaware; Joe has coached over one million individuals and businesses worldwide.
He’s also the owner of the Firewalking Institute of Research and Education, the world’s authority on training and certifying firewalk instructors. This prestigious institute has trained renowned figures like Tony Robbins and T. Harv. Eker and was recently featured on the hit TV show Impractical Jokers, Getting Sal to Firewalk!
Joe White
Get Life Coaching
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