The Silent Saboteurs: Excuses, Stories, & Denial
By Joe White
If I told you there’s one invisible force keeping you from the life you want, and it’s not lack of money, time, or talent, would you believe me? It’s not a skill gap. It’s not bad luck. It’s something far sneakier—so familiar that most people don’t even notice it. I’m talking about the excuses, stories, and quiet little lies we tell ourselves until they start to feel like facts. And I say “we” because I’ve done it too.
Excuses are tricky. They sound so reasonable in our heads: I’m too old to start over. I’ve failed before, so I’ll probably fail again. I don’t have the money. I’m just not that type of person.
They’re comforting in a strange way. After all, if the reason you can’t succeed is “just who you are” or “the way life is,” then you don’t have to risk anything trying. But here’s the problem: repeat a story enough, and it becomes your reality. You stop asking if it’s true and simply accept it as an unshakable fact.
Now, you might think, “Isn’t this what therapists talk about?” Not quite. Therapy often focuses on unpacking the past over and over again.
But my focus is different. I’m less concerned with what happened and more concerned with how it is impacting you today. Then, of course, how to change in a few months instead of years and years of going over the same old stuff.
Think of it like this: therapy might help you understand why you built the walls. My work is about showing you the door, handing you the key, and walking you through it—learning real-world tools to coach yourself even better.
When excuses and denial go unchallenged, they don’t just keep you in place—they actively pull you backward. They make you second-guess your capabilities. They shrink your goals to match your comfort zone. They convince you that “someday” is safer than “today.” And here’s the truth: no amount of strategy, training, or time management hacks will work if you’re running them through a filter of “I can’t.”
When clients work with me, we don’t just set goals and make plans. Anyone can do that.
We dismantle the mental furniture that’s been blocking the door to their next chapter. We challenge every “truth” that’s been accepted without question. We trade self-protective stories for empowering ones. And we do it in a way that’s forward-focused—no judgment, no shame, no rehashing for the sake of rehashing.
Here’s something to try today: ask yourself, “If I didn’t believe this excuse or story . . . what would I try?” Sit with whatever comes up. That’s the real starting point. Because the fastest way to change your results isn’t by “doing more”—it’s by telling yourself a better story.
If this way of thinking feels refreshing, keep exploring it. Sometimes, the most life-changing conversations are the ones that dismantle the lies we’ve been living under—and replace them with truth that moves us forward. To find out more call me at 302-832-3424 or visit www.GetLifeCoaching.com.
Until next time, Rattle The Cage, Joe
Bio
For over 25 years, Joe White has been a leading force in personal and professional transformation, pioneering Delaware’s first life coaching practice, Get Life Coaching. His journey began with overcoming a near-fatal drug and alcohol addiction 30 years ago, a turning point that ignited his passion for helping others.
Joe possesses a unique combination of passion, genuine empathy, unfiltered honesty, and practical expertise. This extraordinary blend attracts clients from all walks of life, and enables Joe to create massive and lasting change for his clients. His impact extends well beyond Delaware; Joe has coached over one million individuals and businesses worldwide.
Testimonial
“Working with Joe has been a complete game-changer. I spent ten years trying therapy and other coaches, but no one truly understood me or could help, until I met Joe. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” ~ Sarah Thompson
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