When At The Point of Giving Up
By Joe White
President and Founder of Get Life Coaching
Entrepreneur of The Year
She threw her hands up and cried out, “I cannot do this any longer. It is never going to change!”
I remember that moment so very well. It was at one of my Ultimate Breaking Through The Barrier seminars. We were talking about what really holds us back from what we want and she shared what was deep inside.
She shared with me that she has been trying to make changes in her life but she always seems to slip back, she has been to therapists and workshops but nothing seems to stick. She was so frustrated, so beaten down, she felt this was her final chance. She wanted to be happy. Happy for real. Not the I act like I am happy but I am pissed off or hurt on the inside happy. She knew there were key areas of her life that must change but she believed she should be happy even as she worked these things out.
She felt it was 2 steps forward and 1 step back or even 2 steps back. I knew that her frustration overload could be the doorway of her biggest breakthrough. Sometimes when it seems like everything is caving in we discover exactly what we are made of and this was going to be her time now.
The first thing I shared with her was to help her to stop looking at her past as an indicator of her success. Every time she mentioned something good she did, she backed it up with one or more things that she failed at or messed up. Whatever you focus on you will get more of. If you focus on everything that is wrong, you are telling your brain to delete the good and find more bad. You must take control of your focus if you are going to reclaim your life.
I then shared with her that instead of focusing on the failures and mistakes, you must focus on your victories Times when you pulled out a victory even when it seemed like a loss. At first she struggled, but then she remembered a time in high school, then a bad breakup that she overcame and then at her work… The more she recalled, the more she could recall and you could see the shift in her physiology, her face lighten and hope was beginning to show again in her eyes.
I then asked her, “if you were going to choose to play to win and not play not to lose, what would you do? What actions would you take?” She was silent at first and then the lightbulb went off. She said, “I would start to make decisions!” I asked her what decisions did she need to make first and she began to share them and you now could see the confidence returning. I thought we about to have the breakthrough but then she said, “But I have failed so many times.” I smiled and said, “Perhaps but remember this, your past does not equal your future. This is a new moment filled with new opportunity.” I asked her what was most important and she said “Getting to the other side.” I replied “And, it does not matter how you begin the race, what matters is how you end it.” She got it. The breakthrough she was looking for was right in front of her. She has not given up or quit. Which meant she was still in the game!!
We can’t give up for that what we truly believe in. The road may be rocky and we may fall down, but we can also rise up. Measure your success by effort and remember that it is in faith we do things that we don’t know how to do.
Until next issue… Live Free!!! –Joe White
Like most married woman with children, I found myself coursing through life on autopilot. My first priority was taking care of my family, which lead me to take a back seat to my own life. I “thought” I was unhappy and that crushed my spirit. How could I be so unhappy when I have so much to be grateful for? What I learned through attending the Fire Walk and Breaking through the Barrier is that you don’t “lose” happiness, or need to search for it. It is there with you everyday. You just need the right tools to help you wipe away fear, old habits and denial. Once you accomplish that goal, you’ll find happiness standing right in front of you, arms extended; ready to embrace you once again. Thank you GLC. Thank you for teaching me how to get back in the driver’s seat….I am thoroughly enjoying the ride! With lots of love and gratitude. ~ Cindy Berkowitz
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