When Is Enough, Enough? Knowing The Time To Change.
I remember when one client walked into my office for her complimentary session. She was middle-aged, children gone to college, her marriage felt empty, she was heavier than she wanted to be, and she was wondering why she did not have any passion for life. She first came to me thinking she needed to change her career, but little did she know, what she really needed to change was the way she lived her life.
Somewhere along the journey of life, we learn to believe that passion was the byproduct of something we did. If we had a job we loved, then we would feel passion. If we had a relationship that we felt fulfilled in, then we would feel passion. The truth is that passion is the genesis of all things that make us feel alive. Passion is the fuel of our dreams.
Her challenge was not unique. Too often, life gets too comfortable. Our routines turn into ruts, and then something changes that upsets the apple cart. We come to the realization that life is not a straight line, but rather a bunch of bends and turns. We start to feel that the sharp turn is more like a dead end, and we fear we cannot reclaim our happiness. Instinctually, we start looking for the source of pain or what will get us out of pain. The harder we search, the further it takes us away from the solution: ourselves.
For the past 14 years, I have had the good fortune to have worked with thousands of individuals and businesses. Throughout these years, I have kind of gotten the reputation of being like the “A Team” of coaching. Clients come to me when all other avenues have failed and results are a must. This client was no different. The quality of her life was dramatically sliding backwards. She thought she was at her breaking point, but in truth, she was far from it.
There are three catalysts of change. First, we become satiated with pain. We often think we are at the point where we cannot take any more, but we can actually end up spending many more years in pain before we will ever take action. Second, is that an event comes and hits us so hard that we have to take action. Third, is that we proactively choose to change. This is always the best choice, and it was my client’s best chance to change.
I explained to her that happiness and passion are things you choose. I agreed with her that it is a very difficult choice – but it’s still our choice. I asked when she “lost” her passion. Her eyes began to tear and she said, “When my relationship stopped growing.” I don’t know if she truly needs her career change, but I do know that until she learns that happiness and passion come from within, everything will be just a Band-Aid.
She decided to trust me, and we began to work together. First, I helped her find happiness and passion and come from a place of emotional abundance. Then, we tackled the area of need: her relationship. She was able to get her husband to join her for the sessions. The truth came out that he felt the same way she did, and he felt powerless. I was able to get them both back into their hearts and rekindle their relationship.
The lessons learned are that happiness and passion come from within, and when we look externally before internally, we are only applying a Band-Aid. We don’t need to wait for a threshold of pain or a significant emotional event before we can change; proactive change is always best. Lastly, often what we think is the problem is often a smokescreen for the deeper issue. So, look inward with courage and faith.
I wish you love and passion
Absolutely amazing! I have never experienced anything like this before. It is something that has changed me, my outlook and therefore my life!
– Penny Marroni
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