Joe White
President and Founder of Get Life Coaching
www.getlifecoaching.com
2008 Entrepreneurial Advocate of the Year

There is nothing like being in love. You feel as if you are gliding on air, and nothing hurts as much as the end of that relationship. A breakup is difficult regardless of the side that you are on. Through coaching couples and individuals, I have seen the pain and hurt when love is no longer enough. After the broken dreams and promises, all that is left is the understanding that from here on out you must learn to manage yourself through life without the other person. These are challenging times but it doesn’t excuse you from taking control of your emotional state as you process and heal. Life does go on, and so must you.
1.Avoid The Extremes
People tend to swing from one extreme to another with thoughts like: “I’ll never find anyone.” or “This always happens to me.” or “I gave everything.” or “I will never date again.” These language and thought patterns keep you in victim mode. Regardless of how the relationship ended, there is no empowerment in being a victim. It is healthy to feel emotions as you process, but you can do this without being a victim. You can choose to feel angry, disappointed, lonely, sorry for yourself….you can feel any or all of these, but you can’t as a victim. Put a time limit on these emotions. Once you have come to the end of the time period, if you are still feeling the emotion then you must do whatever it takes to change your emotional state. Go for a walk or run, read, journal, do jumping jacks. Do something and everything to break
your state.
2.Avoid Temporary Connection
We are connection creatures. We will run out to connect on dates, with friends, or with Ben & Jerry. When you lose a primary vehicle for love and connection, your knee jerk reaction is to find something outside of yourself to replace it. Sometimes the person you need to connect with most is yourself. This doesn’t mean that you isolate yourself, but realize that you are in a very reactive state which may cause your judgment to be skewed. It is like driving in the snow. You can get from point A to B, but you drive more cautiously. You can connect, but do so cautiously.
3.Take The Space
You Need. All wounds need time and space to heal. People heal at different rates so it is important to give yourself permission to take time for yourself. Now saying that, it can become too easy for you to stay on the sidelines too long– to think that you are not ready to get on with your life, to live again, to begin dating. We tend to overestimate the barrier in front of ourselves and underestimate our strength.
4.Nurture Yourself
When we hurt, we want to feel better. Yet sometimes we are hardest on ourselves. There are times when you will need to kick yourself in the butt to get going, but it may not be today. Be kind and gentle to yourself. A child who gets in harms way will receive nurture from the parent before the scowl of disapproval.
Show yourself love.

Until next time, I wish you love and passion.

Joe White is the President and Founder of Get Life Coaching. For a decade, Joe has been a leading expert in personal and professional development. He has coached individuals and businesses to achieve extraordinary results. Joe’s passion to help others has come from his own past. Fifteen years ago, Joe transformed his life by overcoming an addiction to drugs and alcohol. Before starting Get Life Coaching, Joe was trained to be a life coach for the Anthony Robbins Company. Today, Get Life Coaching has two locations, Wilmington and Delaware City, where Joe conducts his coaching sessions and seminars. Joe is a sought after keynote speaker and is the New Castle County Chamber of Commerce’s 2008 Entrepreneurial Advocate
of the Year.

Testimonial:
“Joe White is an amazing coach. He helps me to see events and human behavior in ways I never thought of. Joe is the most effective coach I have ever used.”
~ Beverly Stewart, M.Ed