By: Joe White
Get Life Coaching
www.getlifecoaching.com
2008 Entrepreneurial
Advocate of the Year

It was a great scene, Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire. He storms into the living room and pours his heart out to his estranged wife, Renée Zellweger. He ended in a crescendo of words, “You complete me!” What a sweet, loving, tear jerker moment that could not be further from the truth. What equates well to the big screen falls short in real life.

Relationships do not complete us. Relationships are meant to enhance our lives – to take us to new emotional highs and perhaps even new emotional lows, but they won’t complete us.
In my ten year career as a coach, one of the biggest issues that my clients are faced with is the realization that the person with whom they are in the relationship with does not complete them. This realization is often a bitter pill and results in anger, punishment, or resentment towards the partner or relationship. This begins a downward spiral effect which can be difficult to reverse.

We must come to the relationship complete and share that completeness with our partner. If we think we are broken, we will act broken. As a result, we either become needy and dependent, which puts a strain on the relationship, or we live in emotional scarcity, which fosters conditional love. The truth is we are all complete; we are perfectly imperfect. We don’t “need” a relationship or another person to make us feel what we already truly process. Think about it like this: Do you want a person who needs to be with you or wants to be with you? Although the “need” sounds good in songs, most would agree we desire “want.”

To understand this more, we must look at the true nature of love. Love is abundant and innate in everyone. We often live as if love can be taken away from us or could run out. That is a fallacy. Yes, losing someone’s love can hurt, but it doesn’t remove love from us or our ability to love. When we can love freely, we share it freely, free from the fear of “what if?” Yes, we may be cautious with whom we share it with, but it is done out of honor for our gift not out of fear of losing it. When you choose to go all in and love from your heart not just your mind, then your focus becomes how you can meet your partner’s needs, instead of how can they meet your needs.

Love is never easy and is not always clear so remember your heart is always in the present. Recognize all that you need is within you and you are and always have been complete. Love more because you can, not because you need to.

Until next time, I wish you love and passion.

Joe White is the President and Founder of Get Life Coaching. For a decade, Joe has been a leading expert in personal and professional development. He has coached individuals and businesses to achieve extraordinary results. Joe’s passion to help others has come from his own past. 15 years ago, Joe transformed his life by overcoming an addiction to drugs and alcohol. Before starting Get Life Coaching, Joe was trained to be a life coach for the Anthony Robbins Company. Today, Get Life Coaching has two locations, Wilmington and Delaware City, where Joe conducts his coaching sessions and seminars. Joe is a sought after keynote speaker and is the New Castle County Chamber of Commerce’s 2008 Entrepreneurial Advocate of the Year.

Testimonial:
Joe has helped me with my business and with my personal growth. I have been to many seminars and read many books where the energy wears off within days. This is so different! These changes are immediate and will last a lifetime. Joe, I will never be able to thank you enough, you are inspirational!
~ Renee Goolday,
Total Fusion Media