By: Diana Graziano Bowden, President, Senior Care Consulting

Are you a member of the Sandwich Generation? If so, then you are primarily between the ages of 40 and 65 and find yourself juggling personal relationships, household responsibilities, possibly still raising children, and now…caring for Mom and Dad! As our parents get older, their needs become greater. As a caring daughter or son, niece or even daughter-in-law, you are now shouldering the responsibility of making decisions, care-giving, or finding appropriate care for your aging loved one. You might feel squeezed, like a sandwich, and overwhelmed by the fact that you have now one more thing added to your already busy life. You also might be thinking… “These are my parents, and I promised to take care of them. How could all this be happening at once? I just feel pulled in so many directions.” The good news is, there is Help! You don’t need to carry this all by yourself, and there are plenty of resources out there to help guide you through the process.

Don’t Wait. The key to balancing this aspect of your life is: Don’t Wait. Being pro-active in getting assistance for an aging loved one will help in your current circumstances, plus benefit you when future issues arise. Don’t wait for a crisis. Unfortunately it only takes one slip on the ice to create a crisis. This usually leads to a fractured hip and a 2 months stay in a nursing home rehabilitation center, with a decline in your loved one’s ability to live independently. Talk about life changing! Accessing the right resources, at the right time, is most important in helping to maintain a senior’s quality of life and independence.

“I promised to take care of them.” As a professional from the senior care industry, I hear this all the time. This statement is backed with years of guilt. In order to make a good decision for an aging loved one it is important to work through the guilt and let it go! I have never seen a family make a good decision based on guilt. Speak openly with your parents about what “taking care of them” means to them, and to you. This statement has many meanings for many different cultures. “Taking care” of someone doesn’t necessarily mean moving your parents into your home. Talk realistically about their needs and your part in assisting them. Most importantly, don’t assume anything.

Reach Out. Even Superwoman gets burnt out sometimes. There are plenty of resources in the community to meet a senior’s physical, social, and financial needs, plus support you during the process. To help avoid burnout, reach out to a professional that can guide you through the system and connect you with the appropriate resources for your situation. Public resources include: Caregiver Resource Centers, Senior Centers, The Alzheimer’s Association, Caregiver Support Groups, Facility Social Workers, and Medicaid/Medicare Counselors. For a more personal, hands-on advisor, connect with an inexpensive Senior Care Consultant.

If you are a member of the Sandwich Generation and you find that you are not sleeping well, not eating well, or just generally stressed out by running in so many different directions…take a breath, and ask for help. Take time for yourself. Remember: In order to take care of others, you also have to take care of You! It’s important for you to know your limitations, and get the help necessary in order to achieve a balanced life.

Diana Graziano Bowden is the President of Senior Care Consulting. Her highly developed network and experience in Home Care, Hospice, Assisted Living, and Dementia Care helps to create a trusting and nurturing environment for families, providing the support they need to make good decisions for their aging loved ones.

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